When dark is welcome
black as night
always remember
never flee in fright
when light is revived
strong as the sun
never forget
we must never run
the night is worshipped
the sun is revered
but never were we wrong
till this darkness appeared
we must follow a star
see where it leads
and let us all hope
its our courage it feeds
before we were calm
not fighting for rights
not going to other land
not turning out the lights
We’ve been without light
stuck in the dark
forever we will be
stuck in the dark
the night is worshipped
the sun is revered
but never were we wrong
till this darkness appeared
we must follow a star
see where it leads
and let us all hope
its our courage it feeds
all this darkness
when will it end?
and when will the light
and what will it send?
we cannot believe
what we’ve never seen
darkness that holds us, leave!
and tell us where our light’s been!
the night is worshipped
the sun is revered
but never were we wrong
till this darkness appeared
we must follow a star
see where it leads
and let us all hope
its our courage it feeds
We shall never flee
we must never run
lets all follow a star
may the darkness be done
if my life ended
here and now
would I be missed?
would people break their vow?
If I were to leave today
would people wish me well?
If I were to dissapear completely
would I leave this eternal hell?
When everything seems good
and nothings aloof
when people seem to care about you
you only forget the truth
there may be one out there
who feels your shame
but when everythings to fall apart
theres only you to blame
if I were to say goodbye
to see you one last time
what would you do?
just say “everythings fine”?
if I were to see to it I were gone
and everything was changed
would you be thinking what had happened?
would people think I was deranged?
When everything seems good
and nothings aloof
when people seem to care about you
you only forget the truth
there may be one out there
who feels your shame
but when everythings to fall apart
theres only you to blame
When I think I’m okay
when things seem right
why is it I fall apart again?
am I truly losing this fight?
I think this is the way we live
throught experiences every day
but how do we go on
when theres nothing left to say?
When everything seems good
and nothings aloof
when people seem to care about you
you only forget the truth
there may be one out there
who feels your shame
but when everythings to fall apart
theres only you to blame
What was so different
I wanted to be with you
I cant even see
who my thoughts belonged to
How can things change?
when everything was right?
but you left my heart in pieces
how could you?
how could you?
Back when we were happy
do you remember?
when everything was okay
our only true December
How can things change?
when everything was right?
but you left my heart in pieces
how could you?
how could you?
now I see what you really are
nothing but a memory
someone I want to forget
who I dont want to know, cant you see?
how can things change?
when everything was right?
but you left my heart in pieces
how could you?
how could you?!?
I am by far the worst blogger, aye? Lol, just kidding.
To catch up a bit I am right now in WV where we came to see the movers pack and move my stuff (most of you know this from LadyMeatball’s blog) and we’re kinda moved into PA.
I’m sure mom has more info on it, and I cant talk too much as it is early in the morning (Yum, 4 hours of sleep). One thing is I have chipped a tooth. I was eating a Life Saver and boom, there it is. So we now have a full pharmacy of painkillers for until we go to a dentist the get a crown or it pulled, or w/e.
Also, I have been writing more poems. They’re not as depressing as before (I’m out of that stage thank GOD) and this is one I wrote just tonight…
MY MIRROR
I look in the mirror
to see someone I don’t know
someone changed
whom I love so
she’s so confident in herself
she loves who she is
but what is it to her?
if she cant tell who it is
she knows she looks good
and that she is loved
and that she is special
never to be shoved
she knows that she is loyal
and will fight for her friends
that she is popular
though she doesnt set trends
she has talents
in abundance, she knows
although most times
not many of them show
shes confident in her sexuality
like some people are not
she used to be shy
and most times distraught
this girl in the mirror
is this who I am?
and if it is
is this not a scam?
Okay, not depressing, but weird, yes? These things have a habit of writing themselves (at least in my case) and I think I know what this is saying.. I’ve changed a LOT this past year. I look back and think to myself “what happened?”. I dont know what it is, but I noticed it last night. I looked in the mirror (see the connection? ) and kinda had a double take. I think the poem says how envious she (I) is (am) of the girl she sees, but doesn’t think it could possibly be her. I was talkin the Hel about it (remember her from Vent stuff?) and we settled on this explaination. Its a time for us where we discover who we really are and who we’re not. Where everything is confusing, and not so black and white anymore. A confusing time, but nessesary all the same. Its not supposed to be selfishness as some would think, its discovery. I’m not boasting a high self-esteem, believe me. I’m not like that.
*sigh* Now I’m just babbling. Hope you all have a nice week or so ^_^
that wouldn’t break your heart?
that wouldn’t sever, destroy, or tear apart
We had so much
love and trust
yet here I am…
life is just
we used to have more
than friends alone
our love was so pure, it shone
but now, that shine has dimmed
I’m sorry about this
I’m sorry if it hurts
but I can’t control how I feel
it all gets worse
I feel we’re just friends
like those who play together
not love and passion anymore
just friendship, light as a feather
please don’t be mad at me
it’ll make me feel worse
I feel enough guilt
it’s all like a curse
please understand
this is my first time
to tell someone
they’re not quite mine
Reading takes away the old
And turns it into the new
Reading gives me courage
To do the best I can do
Reading relives the stress
And gives me hope
While others play video games
Or skateboard down a slope
Reading takes me away
To places I’ve never been
like heavens golden archway
or Prancing Pony inn
Reading is what I love
Reading is what I do
And if you really try
You’d enjoy it too
If I got a coin for every time I’ve loved, yet lost again
Would I be rich beyond my dreams?
If I got a coin for every time I’ve not thought of you
Would I be in poverty beyond my imagination?
These things collide
Turning my life into a prison
I’ve loved you,yet hated you
These coins keep appering and dissolving
Leaving me with a half-empty jar
I want to leave these coins
To leave the memories of which I lost you
To forget these coins forever
That cannot happen unless I get one more coin
Showing your forgivness
If I got a coin for every time you’ve forgiven me
would it still be there?
It’s not the same
Not having you
Even then I thought
You loved me too
But now I know
You never cared
No matter what secrets
We forever shared
We always talked
With immortal trust
Whenever I saw you
My heart raced with lust
I loved you so much
It is out of control
I cannot stop it
My heart even now, will glow.
My heart has been taken
And broken beyond repair
I thought love sparked
Like fireworks at a fair
But that has been torn apart
Severed by mistrust
All the love I had for you
like a bug, it got crushed
You have no life
Within a lie
Even with all those times
We saw eye-to-eye
How could you have done this?
Betrayed us all
I thought you loved us
Me most of all
I loved you then
It’s no longer there
And now there is nothing
Broken beyond repair